But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
