I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
