I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
