Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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