I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
