ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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