My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
