Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
