My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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