So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
