i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
