So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
