hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
