So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
