ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize