I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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