apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can't turn off my feet"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize