College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
