i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
