I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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