Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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