I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize