never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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