once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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