she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
nutella sex= disaster
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
