I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
