I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
