OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
