TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
