Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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