just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
