just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
