Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
