What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My balls are so social today.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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