Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
