so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
