She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
