Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
