Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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