This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
