HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
pray to the hookup gods
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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