What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
