I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
