dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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