I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
