There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
