how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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