found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
