i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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