No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Bang-toberfest begins!!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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