Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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