I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
