I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
