She said her name was "party"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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