So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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