So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
