i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
