I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
