That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
