i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
