Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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